Almost 4 years ago to the day I decided to change my life. My entire life I have battled my weight, still am. Probably always will. I have always been a.) over weight. B.) extreme eating disorder. There has never been an in between. Until now. Well, until the last 4 years that is. When I sat crying and hating myself for being back at square one in my mind, fat again. I knew how to lose the weight-- I had done it once already. I would starve, binge, vomit repeat. Worked once, right? Then I looked into the brownest most sweetest eyes I have ever seen, Calvin Michael. I knew he deserved better. How could I teach a man to love women and treat women if I couldn't even love myself.
I made a commitment to him and to me and haven't looked back since. I have had my set backs yes but over I all I won, I'm winning. It's not a matter of having an eating disorder, bulimia -- that will always be a disease that will always follow me, that I will always carry. It's a matter of control, the eating disorder has it or I have it. Right now, I have it. To some having the words "Just Eat" forever on my body is dumb. But to me it means the world because for a long time, I couldn't. And unless you have fought those battles, you'll never understand them.
There are still days I just feel like I can't. Seeing this reminds me that I can and that will and that all I have to do is-- just Eat.
